You're Overwhelmed. You're Also Going to Be Okay.

Five grounding strategies for when life won't hold still, and the science behind why they work

Still figuring it out. Still moving.

There's a kind of overwhelm that doesn't come from one hard thing. It layers. A decision you're not ready to make. A change you didn't choose. Something shifting beneath the surface that you can't quite name yet. And suddenly you're standing in the middle of your ordinary life feeling like one of those carnival rides where the floor drops out from under you and it's all you can do to keep from losing your lunch.

I've been there lately. Honestly, I'm still in it.

I don't have this figured out. What I do have are a few things I keep reaching for when life gets loud, pulled from my own experience and from some of the thinkers who have shaped how I move through hard things. And because I find it genuinely helpful to understand why something works, not just that it works, I've included what the research says about each one.

Some of these are concrete. Some are more of a practice. None of them fix anything. But they help.

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1. Let the wake-up call land.

"The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button."

— Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

When everything piles up at once, there's a strong pull to manage it, minimize it, push through. To tell yourself you're fine, or that other people have it harder, or that this isn't as big as it feels.

Sometimes that's true. But sometimes the overwhelm is the signal. The thing that finally got loud enough to make you stop and look at what's actually happening in your life. The first thing I've learned to do is let it register. Not spiral into it, but actually let myself say: something is happening here, and it matters.

Why it works: UCLA neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman found that simply naming your emotions, putting feelings into words, reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain's alarm center. The research calls it "affect labeling." You're not suppressing the feeling. You're giving your brain a way to process it rather than just react to it. The naming is doing real neurological work. Read the UCLA research.

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Try this: Write one honest sentence about what's actually true right now. Not a plan. Not a to-do list. Just: "There is a lot moving right now and I am feeling it." That's enough to start.

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2. Get smaller, not bigger.

When life feels unmanageable, the instinct is often to try to manage more: make a plan, fix things, get control. I've done this. It doesn't work the way I want it to.

What actually helps is going smaller. Not giving up, but narrowing my attention down to what's right in front of me. The next hour. The next small thing I can actually finish. Making a meal from scratch. Taking a walk and paying attention to what's around me. Writing one honest page. These things don't solve anything larger, but they give the nervous system a rest from trying to hold everything at once.

Why it works: When we're overwhelmed, the brain stops seeing individual tasks and starts seeing threat accumulation. That is why even a five-minute task can feel impossible to start. Psychologists call this cognitive overload. Finishing even one small, completable task activates the brain's reward system and restores a sense of capability. You're not being small by going small. You're giving your brain the evidence it needs to believe it can cope. More on cognitive overload and overwhelm.

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Try this: Pick one small, completable thing you can do in the next hour, something with a clear end. Do just that. Notice how finishing something feels when everything else is still unfinished.

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3. Know the difference between numbing and anchoring.

"Denial and avoidance are unsuccessful strategies, but truth and awareness mend."

— Anne Lamott, Almost Everything: Notes on Hope

There's a real difference between things that take you away from yourself and things that bring you back. Both can feel like relief in the moment. But one leaves you more yourself, and the other leaves you slightly less.

The scroll that leaves you feeling worse than before. The glass of wine that becomes two. The conversation you keep avoiding. Versus the walk you almost didn't take. The call you made anyway. The thing you made with your hands.

The question isn't whether something feels good in the moment. It's whether it brings you back to yourself or moves you further away.

Why it works: Research consistently shows that avoidance coping, using distraction or numbing to escape discomfort, provides short-term relief but strengthens the stress response over time. The brain records avoidance as "success" and returns to it, while the original stressor remains and often grows. Grounding behaviors that keep you present, even when it's harder, teach the nervous system that you can feel hard things and still be okay. The research on avoidance vs. grounding.

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Try this: Think of one thing you reach for when life feels like too much. Ask honestly: does this bring me back to myself, or move me further away? No judgment in the answer. Just noticing.

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4. Let your body lead sometimes.

Movement is not a cure. It's a reset.

When my head is full of everything that's happening and everything I need to figure out, sometimes the most useful thing I can do is stop trying to think my way through it and move instead.

Not because exercise is the answer to everything. But because the body holds a kind of steadiness that the mind loses access to when it's overwhelmed. A walk outside. Hands in soil. The rhythm of a long drive on an open road.

The Dawn does this for me. Not because I'm escaping, but because being behind the wheel requires a kind of attention that narrows the world to what's in front of me and lets everything else wait. But I've found the same thing on a ten-minute walk around the block on a morning when I was too overwhelmed to do much else.

Why it works: Exercise increases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for clear thinking and emotional regulation, and reduces cortisol, the body's primary stress hormone. Research from the University of Wollongong found that even short bouts of movement improve mood and cognitive clarity. You can often think more clearly after a walk not because the problem changed, but because your brain did. The science behind movement and stress.

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Try this: The next time your head is full, before you try to think through it, take a 10-minute walk outside without your phone. No agenda. Just move and notice what's around you. Come back and see what shifted.

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5. Return. As many times as it takes.

"Progress through something traumatic, it's not linear. It's not like we go from unhealthy to healthy, failure to success. I think it's all circular. You just come back around to the same pain, and the same loneliness. But each time you come around, you're stronger from the climb."— Glennon Doyle

This is the one nobody tells you clearly enough: grounding isn't a place you arrive and stay. It's something you return to. Sometimes multiple times in the same afternoon.

Losing your footing after you found it isn't a failure. It's just how it works. Life keeps moving. You keep returning. The returning is the practice.

Each time you come back, whether to the walk, the journal, the coffee made slowly, or the dogs at your feet, you're not starting over. You're continuing. There's a difference. And every single return counts.

Why it works: Research on daily routines shows that small, consistent anchor behaviors create what psychologists call "predictability signals," repeated cues that tell the nervous system it's safe. You don't need a perfect routine. You need a few reliable ones. Studies find that people who maintain even basic anchors during periods of major change report significantly lower anxiety and a stronger sense of control, even when the circumstances haven't changed at all. Research on routine and emotional stability.

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Try this: Identify one small anchor you can return to today. Something simple enough to do even on the worst day. When you do it, notice: I came back. That counts.

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Will these strategies work every time?

Honestly, no.

Some days nothing works the way you want it to.

Some days you do everything right and still feel like you're barely holding on. That's real, and it's okay.

But here's what I know: the days you can't manage all five, try one. And on the days you can't manage one, try this first.

Take a breath. A big, slow belly breath, the kind that fills you up and makes you pause. Hold it for just a moment. Then let it all the way out.

That's it. That's enough to start.

You will get through this. Not all at once. Not in a straight line.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

One breath at a time.

And when you lose your footing, and you will, we all do, you just return. That's the whole practice.

Keep returning.

They've always known something I'm still learning.

Reading right now:

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. If you're in a season of change and haven't read it, now is the moment. https://amzn.to/43TPvVi

Something is coming!

I've been working on something for people who are in the middle of exactly this. A tool for finding your footing when life gets loud. It's almost ready. Stay tuned.

Keep Moving.

Rachel